Friday, October 19, 2007

DPMs - Round 2

DPM #3: Send a love letter this week

What? Why would I do this? That would require me a: having someone to send a love letter to and right now, not even my family members are deserving of a love letter. Can you spell PMS?; b: writing a love letter on actual stationary which is an ordeal in itself. Who writes longhand anymore? Secondly, if you didn't mean that and are ok with email or some form of texting - how tacky are you. Eww. c: remembering to send said love letter - this week. Dude, I pay for everything online. I can't be bothered to remember to mail in anything. I gripe when I have to fax things into the insurance company. I buy birthday, Christmas, and other holiday cards for people all the time. Occasionally I actually write in them but I rarely remember to send them. I, at this moment, have three father's day cards and two birthday cards for my dad, two birthday cards for my brother, three for my sister, a mother's day card (I feel more guilt at this time of year, I actually do remember hers most of the time), three wedding cards (Sorry guys!), and.. an Easter card- for whom I don't know. Love letter? Give me a break.

DPM #4: Watch reruns, they replay your memories.

What kind of crack do you Dove people smoke? Seriously, what the hell does this mean? If I watch old episodes of Dallas, Knots Landing and the Brady Bunch, I can guarantee the only memories I'll replay is being broke and lonely as a kid. Thanks. If I watch Dukes of Hazard, Good Times, Jeffersons or Sanford and Son, all I see is why we don't live in the South anymore and that being a person of color is a hard life to have. If I watch Tom and Jerry, Gilligan's Island and I Dream of Jeannie, I'm reminded that sometimes living in a fantasy world is better than reality. Either way you shake it, I'm going to be giving my therapist a lot of money. Thanks. Jackass.

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