Monday, May 21, 2007

Celebrating (Insert Minority Here)!

I originally wrote this post back in February of 2007.  Before I lost my Dad, before I met and married the love of my life... you know, before I grew up a lot.  All that being said - this still makes me laugh.  I thought of it because right now it's Hispanic Heritage month.   Apparently, I haven't grown up all that much... enjoy!

Happy Black History Month to you. This holiday began in 1929. The month of February was chosen to celebrate this month because of the momentous occasions that took place in Black American heritage during this month.

Such as Groundhog’s Day.

A day when a lazy little creature goes outside to check the temperature and if he sees his shadow, he decides to either check out what that strange sound is or go inside and hide beneath the bed. No, wait, that’s “White People in Horror Films week.” I get them confused.  Updated thoughts:  It's unfair to say just white people in here.  There are many races that are stupid in these movies, but let's be honest for the most part - they are white.  You don't see many movies about black people trying to find out what spirit is attacking them at night - we just move.  Leave our crap and go - let the evil one have the sofa!  I never see Hispanic or Asian people in these films either going to "check on that noise" or "call up the spirit of the person who was murdered here".  Maybe I'm not watching the right films?  But I seriously digress... back to the celebrations of the minority (whatever that means these days.)
In all seriousness, the month was picked because Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln were both born in February. If you don’t know why they are important to Black History, then you should go back to Canada or Miami – whichever one you’re from.  Updated thoughts:  Sadly, this no longer applies to foreign persons - even Miss America might not know as proven on Youtube by many taped interviews with contestants.

What’s interesting is that it’s also the shortest month of the year and it’s confusing because every fourth year, it’s actually a day longer. I would complain about black people getting the jacked up month, but honestly – Hispanic Heritage month is Sept 15 – Oct 15 which is even worse. You can't even get an actual whole month, you have to split it over two and hope it gets funded in the new fiscal year.  This observance began in 1968 but it wasn't expanded to a month long observance until 1988 by President Reagan.  Americans celebrate the histories, cultures and contributions of American citizens whose ancestors came from Spain, Mexico, the Caribbean and Central and South America.  And by Americans, I mean those who aren't protesting that these people are here illegally or are stealing their jobs (because you really wanted to clean houses for a living, right?).  Sadly people fail to recognize some of the hardest workers, best kept lawns, and creative house planning ever seen in this country.

Asian Pacific Heritage Month is May – Which celebrates Asian and Pacific Islanders. This lumps Chinese, Japanese,  Vietnamese, Indian / Hindu, Arabic, and  Korean Americans (for example) with Hawaiian Americans. I consider them totally separate and different, but maybe that’s just me. Eh, so they have to share – they all look alike, right? This observance began in 1978.  There's actually not much more info about it...  

Native American Indian Heritage Month is… wait for it… November. It’s like salt in the wound. What’s even better is the fact that although the first "American Indian Day" was declared by the State of New York in 1916, a month long recognition of Native Americans was not achieved until 1990. In that year, President George Bush Sr. declared the first National American Indian Heritage Month on August 3.

You’ll note that the people who came first got their month holiday – last. Now, perhaps you’re sitting at your VP desk in your $3k suit frowning because you don’t see your heritage represented here. You’re right, there is no White People Month – cause that’s called “Every Day” for the rest of us. The one exception is in March.

The public celebration of women's history in this country began in 1978 as "Women's History Week" in Sonoma County, California. In 1987, Congress expanded the celebration to a month, and March was declared Women's History Month. Yes, even women got recognized before Native American Indians.
So, that covers the major minority groups (that I know any details about) and thus ends your educational moment for the day.

So, it’s February – do something Black. (Just don’t arrested, pregnant, or be a guest on Maury Povich.)

PS: No, I'm not racist. My family background has so many races in it, I'd have to slap myself with one hand and protest with the other. However, saying "Caucasian People" month is pretentious and frankly, doesn't match how I think. I'm not PC - sorry. I actually don't have an updated thought here - cause I am still not PC.  No apologies.

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