So, some days I really start to feel that number that comes around every May.
It happens in weird ways, like being so tired I can barely walk at 10pm. When did THAT happen? What happened to the girl who could party until 3 am, take a nap, then go to work with no hangover the next day? Did she just quit one day and leave behind this person who can't even make it to late night television? Now, this isn't every day (Thank you, Lord) but on the days it happens, it's when I would actually LIKE to stay up for some reason.
Or, things I used to joke about like Sciatica. It's not actually all that freaking funny. It's annoying and painful and RANDOM. I didn't do a double backflip with a twist or scale a 40 foot wall then army crawl under barbed wire - I'm not stupid (anymore) and know my physical limitations (mostly). I would never do something dumb like run a marathon! (Just kidding - not about the running a marathon part, but about it being dumb. It isn't - I just won't. Ever.) So why does sitting at my computer at work randomly cause pain? (There is some Freudian analysis dying to come out here, but we'll save that for another day.) Or maybe picking up a piece of dropped paper? Or breathing? Again, it's not all the time but seriously - when did I open that gift that doesn't end?
When I turned 24... a while ago... someone said, "Well, it's all downhill from here. From this point on your body is actually dying every day. It's no longer creating new cells." First of all - that person was, and likely still is, a jerk. Second of all, they LIED! If I'm not creating new cells, where are these random pieces of hair coming from? And how do they grow so freaking fast? Yesterday there was no hair there, I know - I look in the mirror EVERY day... sometimes multiple times. I'm not narcissistic, I'm paranoid. Or OCD... possibly both. Which is not the point, the freaking hair is - and it's alarming that something can grow that quickly on my body and I not even FEEL it.
People still say I look way younger than I am, maybe 30 (which until last year, they guessed me at 26 so I guess I put on a few years in the past one). This is great. It would be even better if I felt like I did when I was 30 (which was like I was still 18). But more and more I'm made aware that I am not bouncing back the way I used to... even with all this bouncy padding.
I am married to an awesome man who loves me exactly like I am, which makes one of us on some days. Because of him, I'm working on getting myself more physically active and back in somewhat better shape. Because of our desire to have kids, I'm trying to make sure I am still fit enough to be a fun mom, not a decrepit one, but man - it's not easy!
For those of you in your early 30s, don't squander your youth. Do stuff, go places, and save money. Seriously, this age thing doesn't come on slowly. It's all at once apparently and like a ninja - it gives no warning.
For everyone under 30, trust me when I tell you that people keep treating you like a kid because from this point of view, you are. I know all the 20-somethings are groaning and complaining that they are adults as well. You are... but when your body begins to betray you randomly and going dancing means you're going to be sore in the morning, then let me know.
We can have mimosas like civilized people at brunch. On the weekend.
Oh - and it's not all bad. I have a real job that pays well, I have a car, pets, a 401K, a husband that I adore, and a life plan. I know who I am in my faith and who my real friends are as well. My passions are clearly established and I'm ok with not being everything to everyone, nor impressing strangers (unless I'm on stage, then all bets are off). There are still things I'm working on (Hello, body image) but hey - I'm as human as the next woman. This took time to develop and as I mature, I'm sure it will be even better.
I would just appreciate a little warning sometimes. I also enjoy this view of life stages.
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