DPM #9: Go against the grain...
...CHEER FOR MEAT!
...FIGHT FOR VEGETABLES!
Honestly, who wrote this, Dr. Atkins? What do you people have against a little hearty oat or yummy wheat? I know we're a carb-phobic society, but honestly aren't we taking the hypocrisy a little far when this is wrapped around a piece of dark chocolate?
... it gives your hair volume. Yes, if you brush against the grain, your hair will appear fuller and more beautiful. Why this advice is on a piece of chocolate is beyond me, but hey if you're not gonna eat right and hit the gym - might as well have pretty hair right?
... to remove lint.
... to remove body hair.
You know, for as ridiculous as "Go against the grain" is, I could do this all day. It's funny. Being serious for a half-second, going against the grain is alright if you think first. Know that the "grain" is often the accepted societal norm and going "against" it usually has consequences. Sometimes this turns out well, "Women can vote! Diseases cured! Men stop wearing tights!" but it can also turn out to be something that causes contention. See: Hitler, Marilyn Manson and Saddam Hussein for further information. Sometimes fighting the majority rule is a negative. (For all the Manson fans, this of course excludes you and your idol. *wink wink*)
DPM #10: Get your feet massaged.
Yes sir! Or Ma'am! Whichever, I'm on that like white on rice. Finally a useful DPM.